Chicken burrito. Regular size; 65 – going big, you’ll need 80 kroner more. Oh, you want guacamole on that? that costs a tenner. Shitfaced. “Nød lærer nøgen kvinde at spinde” is a danish saying. That could translate directly into “poor festivaldude learns how to make a fresh sandwich”. Prices are higher than ever, and since we’re living on a tight budget in the camp, and wants to experience luxury as everyone else, there’s no other way than to go all in on the sandwichtopping.

Thanks to Christian, Claus, Lassefar, Frederik and Kåre for showing me the way and helping me giving the motherfuckers 1 to 5 Bitchslaps.

Shrimpcheese with chili/peanut-crisps:

A simple, both creamy and crunchy sandwich that has both fibres and peanut in it. 2 Bitchslaps.

Cheese, liver pate and underripe advocado on the top:

With liver pate you can never go wrong. Mixed with the cheesiest cheese, this one score 3 Bitchslaps.

Toastbread, shrimpcheese, chili/peanut-crisps, sausage, liver pate, ham, underripe advocado, humus, chili/peanut-crisps, aioli, chili/peanut-crisps:

So much luxury. It tasted good, Claus said – and even if it tasted bad, all that luxury could only deserve: 5 Bitchslaps.

Liver pate, sausage, underripe advocado, Joe’s chili crisps, ham, mayonnaise:

Neatly organized with the crisps stuck into the liver pate. The ham does a good job being a worse meat-product than the sausage. 4 Bitchslaps.

Mayonnaise, Joe’s chili crisps, sausage:

Joe’s chili crisps combined with the salty taste of sausage is really not good. 1 Bitchslap.

Got inspired? go do your own sandwich, send a picture of you eating it, and the full ingredients list, to hello@bitchslapmag.com and you’ll might win win something.

Photos and words by Lasse Kofod