We were invited up to Lau Ebbesen’s jewellery studio, which also doubles as the Bolværket practise room, on a warm late summer evening to check out the band rehearse and possibly get some questions in. As we approach the building we can hear a 70’s Gasoline similar sounding sing-along roaring from the third floor. It’s Tuesday. We’re far from drunk and the noise we’re ascending the stairs towards reminds me of Andy’s bar just before closing time or every single Danish house party I’ve ever been to.

We come in mid-song and find at least 10 people rocking out singing about ostepølser, a box of freshly opened Budweiser standing on a log and the place is smoky as hell. The ‘jam band’ (as I find out they’re called) look like something from Mtv – fur coats, sunglasses and gigantic chunks of bling. All of this is being filmed non stop by Simon Weyhe to be used, no doubt, for music videos or documentary. My plan for in and out quickly is already been destroyed so we help ourselves to some beers and about 45 minutes later start chatting – in between shouts of abuse and cries of “BOLVÆRKET!” 

The quesions in this interview are asked by myself or Smarty and randomly answered by members of the band, jam band, film crew or fans. 

So what are you some sort of a political movement or what? A peace band?

A drunk band.

Just drink or does it go further than that?

Bolværket is how life looks from the bench…

“De spurgt om I tog stoffer.”
I do but I take that on my card. 

The whole room cracks laughing up as Phille stands in the corner with a pleased grin spread over his entire face waving his dankort in the air.  He’s the black sheep. He’s the vacuum cleaner

The drummer hasn’t got his bolværket tee shirt yet so Lau starts digging around and finds one. 

Du kan få den hvor bolværket er stavet forkert. (it says bolvæket)

Oh, det gider jeg godt.

And then they bust into a song.

“Fatter i noget af teksten overhoved?”  Simon asks me and Smarty. Yea man I get most of it. I especially like the cheese sausage song but when I first came up and you were playing it I thought you were singing ‘oste bøsser’. (Which would roughly translate as cheese-gay.)

So what’s this transportation theme you’re rollin with all about? The first time I saw you guys was on the back of a horse wagon and then you were out on that barge in the harbour.

Yea we just cruise around and play, we spent the day going from spot to spot in Copenhagen in a horse drawn wagon.

And Simon is shooting all the time?

Yea, he’s pretty much filming everything we do.

Have you done any real gigs yet?

What do you mean, we do real gigs all the time. This doesn’t count. This is what do you call it, just øvelse. Hvad hedder sådan noget shit på engelsk? Reheashul? Rehearsal. Practice? This is life. When we play outside, it’s work. 

And then they all piss themselves laughing.

Or is it the other way around? 
I dunno.

What your favourite venue so far?

The horse wagon. And pisserenden. But the sound was shitty. 

And was it a proper set up in pisserenden?

We were on this 2 and half meter high stage and we had the whole street looking at us.

You’re relatively new on the scene right, what have you been together 6 months? But you’re playing more regularly than a ‘real’ band.

Yea we played a lot this summer. I told Simon the other day that we have to slow down. If we drive this fast then we’ll fall off the car. The band would kill me.
And then they (Simon)called me and were like yea we’re gonna have a big meeting and maybe have a break and then they called me back and were like ‘hey we’re going to cancel the meeting, we’re going to Floss for beers.’

So are you already sponsored and shit or what? You got budweiser all over the place and all wearing indy. I know Lau is all over those new Bud posters. What’s the deal?

First we’re gonna make a christmas song and then we’re gonna make this record next year in january.

Obviously the question wasn’t understood -

You know, like, are you getting free shit?

I don’t really get an answer – everyone is yelling at each other and the tiny dog under the work bench has begun barking and the drummers left shoe/tamborine is tapping and one of the members of the jam band is trying to convince Lille fis to go solo and …..

- “BOLVÆRKET”

The album, is that called Bolleren?

No it’s .. vi har en diskologi som hedder Bolværket, Savværket, Kraftværket og så laver vi en greatest der hedder Hærværket. Og så laver vi en elektronisk en der hedder Elværket.

So what does Bolværket mean anyway?

It’s the thing that protects the pier from the ships when they go to shore. You have this wood, it’s called Bolværket.

So you guys are sailors ? Cos when you hear it, it sounds like you’re a bunch of fucken sailors.

Yea but we can’t afford the boat. But the green benches is like the inner city’s ‘sitting next to the harbour’

How would you describe your music?

Fucked. Hard rock power folk. With a twist of Christian drunk. Alcho-folk.

So do you want to play at our release party?

Yea for sure – we’re really expensive.

Lille fis begins to introduce the next song for us.

There was one day when I didn’t turn up for reheasal and Lau the backstabber wrote a little song about me. 
It’s called John Telfon because he says nothing ever seems to stick.

No no it was called the ballad of John Teflon but now it’s called Kraftig påvirket.

Yea, even the name didn’t stick.

Skal vi tag den på engelsk? Vi ska da ha det til vores verden’s tournering.

Nej, vi synger kraftædme ikke engelsk er du syg man?

Yea fuck that, take it på dansk. It’s like Kim Larsen in the old days.

det er det de siger allesammen de svin. 

Then the ‘jam band’ returns from the kiosk mission seriously looking like they’ve come to the wrong Halloween party.

Nå har i taget bajer med eller hvad? Fuck mand, I er så dårligt til at fylde poser op!

De havde ikke nogen Guld Tuborg dernede. 

Fuck!

Bolværket have their already impressively long song list written on the door.

This song we made on 2 minutes.

Jeg skal ha briller ellers så ska jeg ik syng du

Teflon’s back!

They burst into a ferocious 45 second long punk yell-and-scream song about 1000 cases of beer, 5 cases of cointreau and John Teflon. Even on my shitty dicatphone a month later the energy is crazy and I can see Phille with his gigantic Elvis glasses yelling with the conviction of someone in a DC bassment back in the early 90’s.

So we need to get your names down at some stage, we got John Teflon over there right, aka lille fis…

We got Guldfisken derovre on the drums (actually a cajone – like a wooden box and with a tamborine ducktaped to his right mismatched shoe)fordi han husker kun et sekund af gangen. But his real name is Førwalter – before Walter. Then over there we got Capello cos he’s the only one that can sing. Capello Gonzalez. 

What about you Lau?

Jeg er Lau. Jeg er værkføreren. Jeg er en del af Bolværket.

I wanna see jam band sing a song on their own.

Yea but they don’t know shit! They get all the chicks. They get all the money and they get all the attention and they can’t do shit.

At this stage we’re averaging about one question per song. 

So do you have any love songs?

Det er den der med hende der er gravid? Nej, vi køre ikke love songs. Nå men ‘Smasket min ven’ – den er kærlighed.

Half an hour and 4 songs later, the beers are dry and things are winding up.

So what about the future for Bolværket? 

I don’t know what the fuck’s gonna happen. Free beer don’t pay the rent. I want money but we’ll do this as long as we’re having fun. Some people say we’re gonna go on tour and all that.

But the horses will get tired if you have to go all the way to Aalborg

We don’t play Jylland. We only play where the bench is green.