We just received this telegram from the outback of northern Siberia:

Hey, people from Europe, we need your story. To cut it short, here’s the deal:

- We are looking for a feature for our next issue;

- We’ll be in Europe December 27 to January 11;

- If you got a story to tell, we’ll come to you, hang out with you for a day or two, get you free booze or whatever you want (even if it includes sucking your cock, giving you a rim job or cutting our little fingers yakuza style – we’ll do anything for good material), record your story and feature it in its entire length and uncut in Doomsday Dept Issue 3.

What kind of story? – Anything, as long it’s not a whiny heartbreak piece. Anything amazing, exciting, provocative, incriminating etc. You know, maybe you are a bastard son of Baram Obacka, or a cocaine smuggler, or a Mason renegade, or just plain attention whore with smth fascinating to tell, whatever… – we’ll give you full coverage.

No boundaries or censorship.

email us at mail@doomsdaydept.com

Dake Aachen & Skippy Dominguez, Doomsday Dept

Note: The Siberian part remains somewhat blurry, so maybe just ignore that.